March is National Women’s History Month!  If laughter is the best medicine, this gallery should make you feel a whole lot better.  Some of these ladies prove you do not have to be a comedienne to say something funny.

Funny Quotes by Famous Females  was originally published on

1. First Lady Michelle Obama

First Lady Michelle Obama

Michelle Obama: He’s always asking, Is that new? I haven’t seen that before. I’m like, Why don’t you mind your own business? Solve world hunger. Get out of my closet. (Photo: AP)

2. Regina King

Regina King

Regina King: If your woman is asleep every time you get home, she’s just really tired…OF YOU! (Photo: AP)

3. Wanda Sykes

Wanda Sykes

Wanda Sykes: It’s easier to rip somebody to shreds while you’re making them laugh. (Photo: AP)

4. Viola Davis

Viola Davis

Viola Davis: I love Wal-Mart. You can put that down. I love Wal-Mart. My husband and I hang out there. (Photo: AP)

5. Octavia Spencer

Octavia Spencer

Octavia Spencer: On cable TV they have a weather channel – 24 hours of weather. We had something like that where I grew up. We called it a window. (Photo: AP)

6. Mo’Nique


Mo’Nique: As for black people liking fried chicken, I can’t speak for all of them, but I know I damn sure do! (Photo: AP)

7. Zoe Saldana

Zoe Saldana

Zoe Saldana: Growing up, my dolls were doctors and went on secret missions. I had ‘Barbie Goes Rambo.’ (Photo: AP)

8. Beverly Johnson

Beverly Johnson

Beverly Johnson: My husband was just Okay looking. I was in labor and I said to him, What if she’s ugly . . . You’re Ugly. (Photo: AP)

9. Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys

Alicia Keys: I love kick boxing. It’s a lot of fun. It gives you a lot of confidence when you can kick somebody in the head! (Photo: AP)

10. Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson

Jennifer Hudson: I actually stopped working out because I don’t want to lose my jelly. (Photo: AP)

11. Rihanna


Rihanna: I am crazy and I don’t pretend to be anything else. (Photo: AP)

12. Macy Gray

Macy Gray

Macy Gray: I have a bronze statue of myself, naked. I have these really big curls and water comes out of every curl. It’s hot! (Photo: AP)

13. Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey

Oprah Winfrey: I still have my feet on the ground, I just wear better shoes. (Photo: AP)

14. Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington

Kerry Washington: As a young girl, my real dream was to be the woman in the shows at SeaWorld. (Photo: AP)

15. Adele Givens

Adele Givens

Adele Givens: I was a wonderful parent before I had children. I was an expert on why everyone else was having problems with theirs. Then I had three of my own.

16. Niecy Nash

Niecy Nash

Niecy Nash: A lot of people are miserable, a lot of people are so unhappy because they’re hungry. They need to eat a little more. All those thin girls walking around on Dancing With The Stars, they’re arguing with their partners and I’m like . . . you would have a better life if you ate some food, honey. Tell ‘em Niecy!